It sounded cooler in my head

What is it to be human
we wake up
we eat
we interact with the world we are in
we communicate
we sleep
what purpose do we have

people are told to see things a certain way
humans have been around a long time
passing down their views of the world
as soon as we are born we are told what life is
will you go with the flow of life
or wake up
human souls flowing down the river
they dont know any better
only looking forward
not looking around them

but i am just a sack of potatos sitting, thinking, not moving
im a fool who can bearly put together sentences
whats in my head doesnt convert into words
and whats in my head is always changing
trying to find something

i feel compelled to know what Christianity is
without what the world had let you know about before
to see things how they really are
i want truth
like a book you know nothing about, and start to read
no biased opinions
i dont have it right
im going no where

A thousand yawns

Eyes watering
Nose dripping
mouth drooling
air flows into my head
my brain fills with oxygen
my skull shakes
my vision blurs
I can now think clearly

sword pulled from its sheath

so many different brains
each one with a different perception of the world
everyone is living on the same earth
who can see the truth
who isnt clouded
We wander outside the truth, its stupid
i want to ram a javelin into my head
how can i be lured into this foolishness
we are ants crawling in circles, no focus
we need to be knocked to our senses
when you find the focus
dont stop even when you are content
my life is an arrow, where does it point to
airwaves jet past my head
the motor in my skull has started
can i find enough fuel to keep it running
will i forget where the fuel is

brain drain

my head is a watermelon full of juice
Bam!, smashed with a hammer
my brain is a wheel that must be turned manually
tired feeling floods my skull
dillutes the brain, spreads it out
should be a concentrated mass, a hard egg, dense
everyday tasks become a challenge
its painful to speak
i see an exit, ive yet to get to
throw out the excess keep what matters
in a ziplock storage seal hanging from my skull

not who i want to be

i want to take a leave
im not content with how things are and how i perceive them
the familiar Archetype of someone leaving for awhile and coming back a changed man
like moses coming down from the mountain or gandalf changed to white
gradual change isnt good enough
Im tired

Highs stand upon the lows

This pressure i feel
A knife in the back of my head
i see the importance of God
pressure pushing me forward
moving forward by instinct
ive found where i need to be
now i just need to remember where it is
a mental high
this is it

Mewithoutyou is an awesome band

my brain sinks down into itself

sometimes i get this feeling that im not human.
stuck in a pool of goo in my brain,
feet cant get out, im swimming in it
trying to be content with garbage
this is where you get with no effort, not trying
at the bottom of the sea where everyone else is swimming up
but not I, im a bottom dweller feeding off others
i cant help but feel disgusted
i know somethings not right
i need a good punch to the face
who would want to further there living in this
i see an exit, but i want to define what this is
if i can define it i can contain it
and something contained can be destroyed
a laser shot from my head
a jet pack to move up
a self realization that im human
its what i see in my mind

Beautiful realization

kneeling in front of my comp paranoid
if i could live the way i feel right now id die a happy man
maybe a little less paranoia though
being caught underneath addictions, laziness, selfishness
ive took everything for granted
thinking i was a good person but i was wrong
good by my own standards
my standards are garbage
i see through my former self clear as day
If i dont change im a fool
at a stand point outside my old self
looking at everything ive done
this life ive been given im throwing it away
need to stand on my problems not fall beneath
humans need purpose
a need to reject who i used to be
kinda like the words in the bible say
is this born again, death to my old self
this worries me or maybe im just slow
stand against the waves push against them
walk through the water with iron boots
if i fall back punch me forward
forward motion in the brain
a brain that doesnt move has no control
a man with no purpose has no control

i need determination

right now i dont feel accountable for my actions because this isnt who i want to be
a mans mind is formed by whats around him tv movies, people every generation is different because the factors that form us are different i want to be above this. ciera is onto something

But the fruit of the spirit is love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness selfcontrol. Against such things there is no law.
This is how a christian should be
Cant see how some people dont like christianity, its because not all christians go by these rules including myself which isnt right

Your actions define who you are.
what you think you are is false if your actions dont reflect who you think you are.

done