Beautiful realization

kneeling in front of my comp paranoid
if i could live the way i feel right now id die a happy man
maybe a little less paranoia though
being caught underneath addictions, laziness, selfishness
ive took everything for granted
thinking i was a good person but i was wrong
good by my own standards
my standards are garbage
i see through my former self clear as day
If i dont change im a fool
at a stand point outside my old self
looking at everything ive done
this life ive been given im throwing it away
need to stand on my problems not fall beneath
humans need purpose
a need to reject who i used to be
kinda like the words in the bible say
is this born again, death to my old self
this worries me or maybe im just slow
stand against the waves push against them
walk through the water with iron boots
if i fall back punch me forward
forward motion in the brain
a brain that doesnt move has no control
a man with no purpose has no control

i need determination

right now i dont feel accountable for my actions because this isnt who i want to be
a mans mind is formed by whats around him tv movies, people every generation is different because the factors that form us are different i want to be above this. ciera is onto something

But the fruit of the spirit is love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness selfcontrol. Against such things there is no law.
This is how a christian should be
Cant see how some people dont like christianity, its because not all christians go by these rules including myself which isnt right

Your actions define who you are.
what you think you are is false if your actions dont reflect who you think you are.

done