not who i want to be

i want to take a leave
im not content with how things are and how i perceive them
the familiar Archetype of someone leaving for awhile and coming back a changed man
like moses coming down from the mountain or gandalf changed to white
gradual change isnt good enough
Im tired

Highs stand upon the lows

This pressure i feel
A knife in the back of my head
i see the importance of God
pressure pushing me forward
moving forward by instinct
ive found where i need to be
now i just need to remember where it is
a mental high
this is it

Mewithoutyou is an awesome band

my brain sinks down into itself

sometimes i get this feeling that im not human.
stuck in a pool of goo in my brain,
feet cant get out, im swimming in it
trying to be content with garbage
this is where you get with no effort, not trying
at the bottom of the sea where everyone else is swimming up
but not I, im a bottom dweller feeding off others
i cant help but feel disgusted
i know somethings not right
i need a good punch to the face
who would want to further there living in this
i see an exit, but i want to define what this is
if i can define it i can contain it
and something contained can be destroyed
a laser shot from my head
a jet pack to move up
a self realization that im human
its what i see in my mind