Sennit

I was in a local Tampa Bay band in my teens and early 20s. We had a piano player Jonathan who I met in elementary school, he could play any instrument but chose to play the piano. He is who got me into playing music, he suggested I play bass guitar and let me borrow his to learn.

 He started playing when he was young and so his skills were evident the soul of music  flowed through him.

 We got a small band together and practiced for years. We finally got some cohesive songs together when He started getting headaches. The pain got to the point where he had to go to the doctor to figure out what was going on. Ended up being diagnosed with brain cancer. He underwent surgery at a brain cancer institute in Texas. The surgery was successful and removed the brain cancer.

 After he started recovering I visited him,  he lived just the street over for me. He lost some motor function in his hands I witnessed a man that could play any instrument now only able to play a piano with one hand, he still played pretty well. Weeks and months passed he slowly recovered but the cancer made a comeback this time it took it with him.

19 years on this earth. The man was loved by many people evident by the hundreds of people at his funeral.

Our band carried on a few years afterwards and played a couple shows. Most venues that we played at then no longer exist, evident of the constant change the city is undergoing. People and places are here and gone, the world keeps spinning.

Distant Tragedy requires no pity or sorrow, turn tragedies into positivity and healing energy,  equal and opposite reaction of the pain endured. Time heals all things but the memories remain 

A season for change

The skeleton removed

A new month 

a renewal, 

new ideas,

New actions

New paths

I am a pathfinder

Summer 2018 Remix

Source:

fan whirs, the cat purrs

as i stir, awakening

to a bowl of oats

The day begins for the small crew of the Airship SS Catalina. A steam powered vessel lifted by a hydrogen balloon, propelled forward by a large whirling fan positioned on the back. A routine trade route voyage delivering foodstuffs to the land across the sea. Halfway though the journey, the engineer shovels coal into the machine that provides the ship's power and propulsion. He slaps the side of the Engine " Listen to her purr, We are making great time". Further up deck, the captain sits sleeping at the wheel. A sudden gust takes hold of the airship tilting it sideways, causing part of ships contents to fall to the turbulent seas below. The vessel continues to shift. The captain awakens, turning the wheel correcting the ships angle, preventing sure disaster. The Crew assembles together on deck to assess the damage. With concern the engineer yells to the captain, "We lost most of our coal sir, we wont have enough to reach our destination". The captain recalls the grains they are transporting, secured below the ship. "We are to use the oats as fuel to complete this day's journey".

Summer 2018 Sensory

Sight:

An unknown garden. 

Variety of plants from different regions now growing together.

young plants, earlier stages of life, some bearing small fruit

Some eventually large trees, confined space.  future competition for sunlight. May require pruning, human intervention

Labeled with Technical terms, previously defined.

Hearing:

branches moving, distant traffic

Smell:

 Nature scents, city scents

Touch:

using hands to push through the branches that obstruct the pathway

feet on the path,

separated by a layer of adidas BOOST™ foam.

Lightweight breathable knit material upper. the occasional breeze can be felt on feet. so airy

unparalleled comfort, adidas™

Taste:

Faint minty taste of gum of I've been chewing  

Summer 2018 Dream Space Filter

There are different paths a life It is important that we know what direction we are moving in.

If your life is an Arrow where does it point

I am living the perceived business school career end game, A cushy office job at a respectable corporation. 

Extended spans of time sitting in foam-padded adjustable office chair while analyzing business data using the multiple computer displays placed in front of me.

A cog in the machine of a business constantly in motion. A gear oiled by the free coffee found in break room.

80% of my weekdays now contained in a cubicle,  Robotic, dry, the color gray.

The most playful expression of life's experiences is music. 

pushing out feeling in the form acoustic sound waves.

Back in the day I was part of an experimental rock band we played a few shows

but my favorite aspect of music jamming with others and creating something new

An Improvised combination of notes of multiple musicians becoming a new musical work.

A measurable real life implementation of the concept of rhythmic patterns applied to music

In the case of rhythmic patterns, the combination of two such patterns will generate a third. Therefore, it becomes possible to investigate an unfamiliar pattern by combining it with a known second pattern and inspecting the third pattern which they together generate. (Bateson, http://www.oikos.org/m&nmultiple.htm)

The inclusion of music can improve the ambiance of any situation/event.

Music has the ability to trigger memories in people

http://www.bbc.com/culture/story/20140417-why-does-music-evoke-memories

Prof : I read these provocative paragraphs as phonographic turntables calling out for new mixtures. The choice of diction and the grid-imagery Arrow designs in the description-oriented first paragraph gives way to a testimony in the second paragraph, which sings of a more fluid space of improvisation, vibration, and becoming. 

The page title offers the idea of a filter. As a reader, when  I play dj on these two scenarios, I think about writing itself as path to exploring their differences and potential similarities. I think about Bob Moog’s synthesizers, with their filters and circuits. I think about the diverse Fluxus experiments in sound and space. For example, Alvin Lucier, in Music for Solo Performer and Shelter, amplified alpha brain waves and ambient acoustics to assemble human bodies, tables, floors, and walls as filters for the active force of sound. Lucian’s score/argument compels listeners to “discover the particular characteristics of the materials” and areas that created the media and the boundaries of his compositions. These works of art suggest that, whether we are designing a fluid art/performance space, or hacking out a sustainable writing practice in some outdated institutional framework,  we encounter similar processes and problems of rhetorical invention. 

colossus

Our eyes view the world through shutters propped open
 the weight of the face pressing greatly upon the structure
 standing a few hundred feet from the ground
 resting on stacks of staggered blocks, barely stable enough to support the weight
 the structure is ran of old technology gears decades due of replacement

 It moves
each block moving frantically, adjusting to the parts that have stopped working
a low humming
 it looks like the structure could come crashing to the ground after each step
 steam bursts from the top of structure
air intake at low capacity

 a large part of the structure slides off
parts falling into the mists below
 the whole structure tilts sideways from the sudden loss of mass
peering down, the inhabitants at the top now see the damage
"We cant keep moving this structure it must be repaired"

Cataloging my Brain

this is a picture of a fracture in steel under an electron microscope. It makes me think that the world we live in could be a smaller part of something huge. The spaces between planets being the same as the spaces between atoms. perhaps a part of giant creature. The universe could just be a neuron in the brain of God. Like a scene at the end of a men in black movie.

Searching for work

Reality is shifting, the normal is becoming strange. The strange is becoming normal. The nonconformist begins to conform to match the pride of the common human. A Life is beginning, structure, a developing of skills once defined as pointless. A repair to the problem has been found. How well the fix is will be shown with time. The endless leisure will become limited. Limited things are more valuable than common. You must be confined to know freedom. Freetime is better appreciated when it is limited. You need bad to define the good, a comparing of the two.

New years Resolutions

Lose Weight
Get Job
play more music
Balance sleep schedule
start music youtube channel
finish associates degree
become less antisocial

wire frame

the bolts that hold my head together are coming loose
the shaft that the bullet travels is bent
my air passages are blocked
the fuel line is cut of from the engine
the logic center requires a certain amount of fuel to perform correctly
the container is preventing the gears inside from turning
form is degrading with age
the machine is on but isnt running any programs
no archetype is loaded
standbye mode

Hive mind

The times are changing
the birds no longer have a reason to fly they walk now
there is no reason to fight when there is peace
there is no use for fighters without a fight
the fear of the unknown is easily remedied by access an infinite source of knowledge
all of life's questions and wonder can be found out with a push of a button
knowledge that once took a lifetime to learn can now be learnt in years
groups of wonderers now wondering alone
all information is being piled into one place
things can now be defined for efficiency disregarding their meaning
definitions are definite
the mystery of tomorrow fuels life

spoil

i realize my faults
i am a spoon fed baby
everything is supplied around me
manipulate the world around you because you don't have the same responsibilities as others
a true fool
the lazy bum yelling at workers
the brain has degenerated to a state capable of nothing
what are you doing,
nothing to promote survival
until you get a job/responsibilities you have no credibility
until you can be a self sustained content human your words have little meaning

we are human

time to go into my sleep capsule
my ball of consciousness
until something intelligent emerges
we are data
memories
referencing events
observing things alone
observing things together
finding ways to live
stimulating the brain with our senses
oh man
reaction
how my brain has fallen
my brain is degenerating

poultry redefined

8 chicken tenders placed unto a circular pan
i watch as you bake in the intense heat
the sound of you sizzle escapes through the vents in the oven
as the frost melts the the scent of chicken fills the space
light reflects off the oil bubbling from your exterior
golden color slight browning on the edges
but your taste is a lie
you were never chicken at all
an imitation of something delicious
outside you appear to be chicken
but beneath your crunchy outside
a solid mass a block of meat sponge like in texture
this is not the texture of chicken i have come to know
chicken grinded up and mixed with other things
to be formed uniform shapes
i hardly recognize you anymore, chicken

brain pudding

i lack a sense of self
my brain fades
my mind drifts
my brain doesn't remember who it is
thoughts clouded
fog inside my skull
my brain is goo
no sharp edges
no definition
a familiar dream
a state of mind
the stream of brains washed up on shore
no sharp words
words that meld into the sounds around them
not an arrow
but a gelatinous object
useless as a weapon
wobbles when hit
i am sculpting my jello mold of a brain
but it melts
time to set the thermostat to cool
the brain needs to chill out
frozen jello hard as rocks
shoot my brain from a cannon
obvious outcome
what is it that you are looking for
why do you move
what are you doing

black hole brain

inside my skull is a void
sound is sucked through me ears
swirling around in my skull
fueling the cannon in the back of my head
the pressure is building
the floor of my skull crumbles
the brain people fall within the cracks
the commander of the neurons sits safely in his head quarters
at the top of the skull
gazing upon upon the disaster below
his eyes grow
ice cream, soft and cold, being funneled in from the mouth
icecream mixed with remnants of the disaster
the icecream disaster being sucked up into the black hole
water pours in from the ears
the ocean being sucked into my head
my head fills with sea urchins
both my ears sucking in sea creatures
2 sharks smash against my head one against each ear
the sharks fuse with my head
their tails spiraled together to plug up the black hole
and i live on known as the man with sharks coming out of his head
walking the streets,
but don't get to close to the shark heads
their mouths are motion activated
the kids throw objects in the sharks mouths
i now wear a helmet so the objects wont damage my own head
tennis shoes stolen to be fed to the sharks
cant be having the sharks doing that, a lawsuit may happen
specially designed helmets fitted to the heads of sharks
the correct distance from the head so the teeth wont activate
boring sharks lost their purpose
back to the ocean
the sun goes down

a punch to the face

you can hear about something and think you understand
but until you experience what you think you understand
you cant fully understand it
purpose, life is all about purpose
why are you here
what are you doing
why are you doing it
a very important concept to grasp
what are you doing right now?
sitting in front of a computer typing truths that i found
in the hope that doing so will push me forward in life
truth from experience, a no greater truth
what is the best way to live and live it
but you must understand
my brain is closed off to a vast amount of knowledge
it needs to grow larger
im squeezing my brain dry there is no knowledge here
need knowledge from outside sources those who under stand fully
the understanding of this life
to the point where you can fully understand the world around you
then you can walk
a beautiful feeling that Ive felt before, an understanding of all things
from the outside it looks foolish but from the inside its amazing
how fortunate i am to be in the circumstances ive come to live
its very hard to see it when you've not been surrounded by it
wisdom is a thing a lack, i hope to see it again one day
should i sit and wait for it or seek it fully
to seek a purpose to know right from wrong
its the only truth i know, im going to find it again if it lets me
the pinballs in my brain have finally stopped bouncing and made it passes the flippers
game over, i diddnt even get a highscore

dull

there is no thinking here
my mind is a still pond without the smallest ripple
you see movement represents brain activity
i feel a discontent
the reason is because i have had the feeling of the content before
i no longer have this feeling
like a human getting super powers and losing them the next day
the feeling of losing something you never deserved
is this relevant to my self
it is foolish, they say
come dwell in the dark waters with us
let us speak of our misery
at the bottom of the pool is death and we are slowing moving toward it
its too hard to see
my vision is obstructed by my own self
there is a certain state of mind you have to be in to see it
what causes this state is up to you to interpret

filter

nonsense that flows from my mind to the screen in front of you
there is a dog hiding behind a lamp post in the room behind me
and when ever i look back to catch it eludes me
there is a brain within my skull
i take it out and fill it with bullets
i proceed to shoot bullets out of the holes in my face
bullet face is what the call me
there is a sneaky cat that wakes up when i sleep
its eyes move inverse to mine
when my eyes are shut his eyes are open
there is a straw in my head it uses to drink the contents of my brain
there is a bald eagle that circles the sky
it grabs picnic baskets and drops them to the hungry
the crayon rubs wax unto the paper slowly diminishing itself
but in turn it produces a picture better looking than a crayon
humans can be the same with there lives
there is an orangutan freaking kids out at the zoo
a kitten in each hand
it doesn't matter what they are they will both be projectiles soon
there is a leak in the back of my head i am unaware of
thoughts leak out and soak into the ground
we wake up finding ourselves in a different place than where we fell asleep
a broad topic is less appealing than a specific one
stereotypical words we heard all our life
pick up a banana, pick up a phone
true or false
neutral no motivation to move in an opposite direction
one way, the other way , stuck in the middle
a machine that spits out tennis balls into a hospital
you fall asleep among stingrays
your eyes bleed blood, tears flow through your veins
looking for evidence of the true
living in the false which is neutral from my perspective
spending a life time for adamant proof of a truth
searching in stand by mode, not on, not off
the color gray, bland, dull
concentrated apathy
keep following the dog to find where it lives
it lives in the bottom of the ocean,
you will drown before you get there

my eyes are alive

then i woke up
energy goes through me
electricity charging my battery
blood flows through my veins
the light behind my eyes has reappeared hopefully this time for good
the on light flashes brightly after being so dim
the zombie gets his brain back
after it had started to rot
the zombie feels remorse for eating other peoples brains
i am sorry for eating your brains